


Just Give Me a Reason

by Christine_Eponine_Watson



Category: Cloud Atlas (2012), Cloud Atlas - All Media Types, Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
Genre: M/M, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:03:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2538647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christine_Eponine_Watson/pseuds/Christine_Eponine_Watson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frobisher wants to die, Sixsmith refuses to let him go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Give Me a Reason

"You thought I didn't see you, Robert. You thought I didn't see you up on the belfry, but I did. I pretended that I didn't so I could follow you and stop you. I can hardly believe I actually fooled you. You have always been able to see through me, see my every thought. Maybe you hear them the way you do your music. I wish I was your muse, but I'm not nearly vain enough to think that I, a humble physicist with absolutely no musical bone in my body, could inspire genius like yours. You astound me, Robert. Your brilliance amazes me beyond belief every day since the day we met. I know that I am not perfect and you could do better, but that won't stop me from refusing to ever let you go, at least not like this."

Robert blinks at me. I don't think he's ever heard me be so assertive and determined in the entire time we've known each other. In fact, I don't think I've ever been so determined in my life, but this is a special circumstance. Robert's life is on the line and there is no way in hell I am letting the sole love of my life go without one hell of a fight. I don't know if he knows how deeply I love him. I'm not nearly as good at expressing myself as he is. Where Robert is outgoing and brave and wild, I am shy, introverted, and tame. 

"You have to let me go, Sixsmith," he says quietly after a while. It is almost as though we've switched roles today. As though he is the quiet one and I am verbose.

"No," I say with all the finality and firmness I can muster. "I can't lose you."

Robert runs a hand through his hair in agitation. If I had known he was this far gone, I would have come sooner. I've always been able to calm the wilder sides of my eccentric lover. 

"You don't understand, Sixsmith," he says, his voice filled with agitated energy. Robert has always been a very energetic person. He once described it as an almost physical pain he feels if confined. That is the only reason I don't press him to be faithful to me, why I let him tell me about his various affairs without letting him know how much it hurts me to imagine him with someone else. "I finished the Atlas," he continues. "I know that I couldn't possibly compose anything better than it. Music is my life. How can you expect me to 'keep buggering on' without a reason?"

I look at him as if that was the most ridiculous question I have ever heard, though he probably sees through my stall for time. "I know I've never been enough for you," I murmur. "I know that I've never been enough to keep you satisfied, but please, Robert, let me try." My voice takes on a note of desperation. "I love you. I can't live without you in my life. You may find it easy to have many lovers and fall in and out of love faster than I can imagine, but I am not like that. I can't move on from you and fall for the next chap who catches my eye. I know how horribly selfish this sounds, but please, let me give you a reason to live. I've asked for so very little from you. I never once tried to change you or chain you to me. There is nothing I've asked you to give up for me except this."

His eyes plead with me to change my mind, to let him go, but I remain steadfast. I can tell that if I leave him for a moment, he will be gone, so I decide on a compromise. "Give me one month, Robert," I implore. "Try to stay with me for one month. If at the end of that month, you still can't find a reason to live, your life will be in your own hands and you can choose your fate." I feel a lump form in my throat. "Just give me one last month with you."

Robert stares at me silently for a moment, his eyes assessing my sincerity. Then, amazingly, he nods. "One month, Sixsmith," he says and I nod, relief flooding my face. I'm not going to lose him just yet. 

"One month," I agree. He flashes me the tiniest hint of a smile. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen because I can tell that I have won this battle.

Now all that's left is for me to win the rest of the war.


End file.
